Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'M TIRED!

I am just tired. My tank is empty. I feel disconnected. I have been so busy the past few weeks that I can't seem to feel settled. Scott's birthday is Sunday and I told him I was giving him a wonderful present. I was going to leave on Friday, go stay in a hotel by myself until Sunday. So that I could nap, revive, read, just BE! Of course I was only kidding (maybe not if he was for it) but he wasn't. Doesn't that sound divine! Oh I can close my eyes and just picture the nothingness!!

We will be married 9 years on Thursday and sometimes I still miss those veg nights that I had while being single. I think I just need to spend some quality time with my Lord and he will restore me.

I have been reading my Outflow study and one thing really stood out to me. The author told us to imagine our life as a fountain. The old-fashioned four-tiered kind of water fountain, with a tall column in the center carrying the water upward before it cascades down into four bowls below. The four bowls represent our relationships. The water is the Holy Spirit, the top bowl is me, the next bowl is my family and friends, the next bowl my community and the bottom bowl my world. He says just as the central column fills the fountain , so too the Holy Spirit wants to fill every one of my relationships with God's love, joy and wonder.

That is what I want. I want to be overflowing with the Holy Spirit so that it flows into every single person, place or thing I see, touch or speak too. So many times lately I have let the actions of others get in my way of overflowing. I struggle with showing that love when I know people are being mean or unfair. I have let that interfere with my spiritual life. I think that is why I am running on empty. My God time has been non-existent lately. I start bible studies, just to put them away after a few days. One question in the Outflow book is "Is your life richly flowing with peace? power? passionate purpose? romance? No No No No. But I know how to fix that. I have to put my Lord back in my daily life. I need his guidance. I need to feel him walking with me, guiding me, loving me. He is my strength! I just need JESUS! So if you think of it please say a little prayer for me.

I feel a little better. Thanks for letting me get that out!

The photos below are some practice landscape shots I took on Sunday. I just love the blue of the sky. Gods beauty.
Still playing with Aperture. See how the background is kinda fuzzy. I meant to do that!
Blessings,
Pam



No comments: